Senior Moment

With one leap I landed upon the counter, one foot on the conveyor belt and the other on the barcode scanner. I lunged at the checkout lady and my hands found their target. They gripped her fleshly throat and sank deep. Her eyes turned to glass and she gazed at the ceiling.

“That’s right, girlie, head toward the light,” I snarled.

Her fingers grasped my wrists and she struggled to free herself, so I beat her head against the register keypad.

“Invalid entry, please try again,” flashed onto the screen.

The clerk twisted hard, loosening my grasp. She sucked a breath. I head-butted the bridge of her nose, driving it sideways with a crunch. Her grasp loosened in a daze. My thumbs overlapped and strained together as I beat her head against the cash register again and again.

“Invalid entry.”

“Invalid entry.”

Finally, her arms went limp, eyes rolled back, and unconscious body sank onto the orange anti-fatigue mat. A bead of sweat dripped from my nose and landed upon her forehead.

Something shook my arm. “Dad, you ok?”

I fell back to reality and looked around. Where am I? A magazine leaned in its display rack. The headline announced Kate Gives Birth to Prince Charles’ Alien Offspring. Oh, that’s right. Supermarket checkout. My son was standing beside me.

“You sort of zoned out,” he said, pointing to the cashier.  Her yellow name tag read Suzanne, with a blue smiley face inked onto it.   “She asked you a question.”

I shook my head, trying to whip my thoughts into shape. “What was it you needed?”

The clerk smiled uneasily and said, “I had asked if you qualify for our senior discount.”

That’s when dizziness overtook me again.

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